What Should be Done for a Permanent and Happy Relationship? How to Find the Right Person?

What conditions should be met for a happy relationship? Why are some relationships happier and more permanent? How do I know if I have found the right person? What mistakes should not be made for a long and permanent relationship? Five factors for a permanent relationship and a happy relationship.

People have been asking these questions for perhaps thousands of years. However, the answer to the question of how a happy relationship is formed is completely ambiguous.

For example, one of these is the way happy couples argue. Some argue differently, the seriousness of the situation can be understood from their tone of voice. It can be predicted how long they will be angry or when they will make up, perhaps from the tone of the argument.

The team working with Samantha Joel at Western University London, who wanted to find concrete indicators for a happy marriage, brought together 43 couple studies and re-evaluated them with the help of artificial intelligence.

11,196 couples and over 2,000 indicators were examined within the framework of scientific research. In addition, many factors were examined, from subjective explanations such as characters to objective factors such as age, income, education and gender. People can be characterized and their levels can be determined with the listed relationship factors. For example, the reason for fights in relationships is the duration of the relationship and unhappy sexuality.

Scientists who wanted to find out which psychological parameters would best predict the quality of a relationship interviewed the couples participating in the study at least twice over a period of several months and a few years. According to the results, it does not matter whether the couples are compatible in terms of age, social background and interests. Since these factors are objective, they can play a small role in determining relationship quality.

How couples see themselves and their relationships is much more important. ‘The person’s own assessment of the quality of their relationship, such as how satisfied they are with their partner, how much they feel their partner is attached to them, how much the person values ​​their partner or how much their partner values ​​them, explains 45 percent of how strong and happy a relationship is,’ say the researchers.

Five Factors for a Lasting and Happy Relationship

Generally speaking, five factors are important in a happy relationship. The first is how well the partner thinks about the relationship. The second is how the partner evaluates himself, such as “I am happy to be with this person in my life.”

The third of the five most important factors is, of course, satisfaction in sexuality. The fourth indicator for a happy relationship is that both partners are happy with the relationship.

Apart from all these, the number and type of fights are also important, which was determined as the fifth factor. Despite these five factors, the researchers still could not find an indicator that would prioritize whether a relationship would be permanent or not. In other words, all the determined factors cannot tell whether a relationship will get better or worse over time.

There is another factor that is more important than these to say I found the right person. According to the researchers, this is about determining whether a relationship will be permanent or not over time. ‘For example, external factors and life risks emerge or couples' behaviors change over time,’ say experts. (Machine learning uncovers the most robust self-report predictors of relationship quality across 43 longitudinal couples studies, PNAS, 07/27/2020.)